Taylor Goodyear

It is a truth universally acknowledged that occasionally in life you feel the need to read a bad romance book. You walk into your local library or Barnes and Noble, pick up the first book you can find, and walk away ready to lose yourself in a cozy little bubble for a few hours. I am no exception to this rule, and so when I walked into Barnes and Noble with my best friend by my side and the intention of finding a trashy novel to read, we picked up the first book we found. This happened to be The Deal by Elle Kennedy, a hockey romance with raving reviews from everyone on Booktok.

Now, I am not a fan of hockey romances at the best of times — I may have once complained about it for five minutes straight in a Barnes and Noble, but that’s neither here nor there — but as a proud spite-reader I was willing to give it a shot. My best friend was reading it with me, and what could be better than reading a bad book and complaining together?

Literally anything else.

The first and biggest problem is Garrett. Garrett Graham, Briar University’s resident hockey star and raging misogynist, is one of our leading characters. He’s just failed a huge test, which is unfortunate because he’ll lose his spot on the team unless he brings his grade up. Now, I can sympathize with someone not doing well in a class, particularly if that class is Philosophical Ethics like it is here. But you know what I can’t sympathize with? Writing an essay on how the Nazis did the right thing. I’m hardly exaggerating in that, too. Garrett has to write an essay on how people need to obey their governments, using the Nazis as an example. I couldn’t make this up if I tried. It’s such a small detail, and it’s so unimportant, but why would you even bring that up? Nazi writings aside, Garrett is just so unlikeable. He spends entirely too much time degrading women who are into him and his friends, refusing to take no for an answer, and bothering his love interest. But don’t worry if you don’t like his personality, because halfway through the book he does a complete one-eighty and becomes a decent person. That is, if you make it that far- if not for my friend reading with me, I would’ve dropped the book before he became an alright guy.

Hannah is Garrett’s counterpart and supposedly the main character, although her character development is nowhere near the level of Garrett’s. She’s a music major, which is pretty much her only personality trait. Oh, and she’s smart, which is how her and Garrett’s paths collide. She’s also in Philosophical Ethics, and she aced the test that he failed, thus setting off the entire plot to the book. She is also unnecessarily mean, degrading people who like Garrett — despite eventually falling for him herself — and mocking other women for being feminine or liking people. For being the main character and the person who narrates most of the story, she’s not very likable.

The dialogue was very hit or miss. Most of it was cringey, but it was a toss-up whether it was funny cringe or just plain cringe. The inner monologue was similar –  while Dean being “at it again” has become a running joke between me and my friends, there was also a whole page that I covered in the word “ew”. It was incredibly juvenile writing for an adult book.

But this is all surface level stuff. Let’s talk trauma! Both Garrett and Hannah have trauma, because if there’s one thing I love more than Nazis in my romance books, it’s trauma. But don’t worry, all of Hannah’s considerable trauma goes away after she gets with Garrett, and Garrett’s gets resolved by the end of the book. No one’s trauma has any lasting impacts on their character, despite it being a huge driving force for the first act of the book. Because everyone knows trauma doesn’t last past falling in love! Note the mass amounts of sarcasm in this paragraph.

Here is what really annoys me about this book; there was no effort put into creating well-rounded characters with interests. Garrett is a hockey player, and a lot of emphasis is put in this. However, the author doesn’t accurately portray the college hockey experience. Garrett didn’t play in the junior league (where 18-21 year olds play hockey to bulk up before entering college). He hasn’t been contacted by professional leagues. He apparently “put off the draft to focus on college.” Without any of these things, he can not feasibly make it to the NHL. And yet, there he is, making it to the NHL. Additionally, Hannah is a music major, except almost every single thing we hear about her music career and projects is unrealistic at best and blatantly wrong at worst. As my best friend and I — a musical theater major and a hockey nerd — took turns complaining that no, that’s not how that works, it took me out of the scene. Additionally, neither of them have hobbies outside of their respective careers. They both have friend groups, but Hannah’s doesn’t get introduced until the second half of the book, and even then they rarely make an appearance. It doesn’t pass the Bechdel Test until page 345 of a 374 page book! Once the couple gets together, all other personality traits vanish.

All in all, The Deal was alright. Was it the worst book I’ve read? No. It wasn’t even the worst book I’ve read this year. Will I be reading Elle Kennedy again? Eh. Maybe, depending on if I ever feel like reading something just to complain. The unlikable, static characters and the juvenile writing style made a questionable plot nothing more than a collection of words strung together into sentences that definitely aren’t in the Bible. If you liked this book, I’m glad! I am probably not the target audience for this book, so I’m happy someone was able to enjoy it. But for me, I gave it two stars, purely for the laughs it provided me as my friend lost their mind over E major chords. Read at your own risk.