Charlie Garner – Contributing Writer
avg6206@psu.edu

 

Hibachi Restaurants

The chaotic energy, the chefs and the cooking tricks they do, and the fire on the grill would take them right out. Especially if it happens to be someone’s birthday. 

 

Tekashi 69

I do not think they would know how to react when they see all of those colors on one singular being. That and the tattoos. Also, imagine explaining what the number 69 actually means to a Victorian era child…

 

Blistex Chapstick

The way it burns your lips for the first few seconds would definitely make them think they were dying and send them into major shock. 

 

Dance Moms

The fights, the drama, Abby Lee Miller… They would not be able to handle it all. 

 

The “Holding Out For a Hero” scene from Shrek 2

It is just too much of a slay, honestly. 

 

Five Nights at Freddy’s

One single jumpscare would take them out for years possibly. 

 

Jeffree Star

Self explanatory. 

 

Slap Bracelets 

Travel back in time to the 1800s, run up to a child, and slap a slap bracelet onto their wrist. See how they react. 

 

Big Mouth

Watching the pilot episode? Spontaneous combustion. 

 

Band Kids

Between the weird memes, the jargon, and just the overall chaotic energy, it would absolutely destroy them. 

 

Euphoria

I feel like this one is self explanatory as well. 

 

Yung Gravy

Imagine a Victorian child hearing the song “1 Thot 2 Thot Red Thot Blue Thot.” It is  over for them. 

 

Fred Figglehorn

That man screaming in his high pitched voice right in front of a Victorian child would certainly make them spiral a little bit. 

 

The Lorax Movie

Just The Onceler memes would push them over the edge.

The Twerking Episode of Glee

Season 5, episode 5 of Glee: “The End of Twerk” would put an end to a Victorian child. If the episode itself does not do it to them, the cast’s cover of the highly controversial song “Blurred Lines” certainly will. 

 

Miley Cyrus’s “Bangerz” Era

I feel like everyone went nuts when they saw Miley Cyrus naked swinging on a wrecking ball back in 2013… Imagine someone viewing that in the 1800s, along with her VMA performance with Robin Thicke. 

 

The Minions

Seeing those little annoying yellow guys running around on a TV screen would absolutely traumatize them. 

 

Vanilla Scented Candles

Those candles can be super strong to a normal person. Do Victorian children even know what vanilla is?

 

Dan and Phil Fanfictions

Just gay people in general may throw them in for a loop, but people writing them into scenarios and fantasies along with other things that may not be very appropriate? Teaching a Victorian child what fanfiction is?  They do not stand a chance. 

 

Line Dances 

The “Cha Cha Slide” at any wedding or school dance would make them think they are in another dimension or something. 

Any DMX Song

“Party Up” and “Where the Hood At” would do them in for sure. 

 

The Blue Man Group

I honestly feel like they could put me in a coma. Why are they so creepy?