Jacob Boring, Contributing Writer

jnb129@psu.edu

“Bullet Train” is an action comedy directed by David Leitch. Based on the 2010 novel “Maria Beetle” by Kōtarō Isaka, the film stars Brad Pitt as a begrudging assassin who must battle fellow killers while riding a fictionalized version of the Tokaido Shinkansen.
I cannot recommend this film. The suspension of disbelief for this is just on a level I can’t even bother to explain. The intricacies of each character relative to each other, with crossed pasts necessary for character relevance and story progression, make for so many “coincidentally” these characters just happen to have “crossed paths” in such ways that for this film to try and imply that all the key characters were where they are in this film as part of an unbelievably complicated but well-executed plan by a single character, there is just not even the slightest concept of this would have worked to bring all these characters together intentionally and they all just happen to have shared the most intense histories to form a ridiculous backstory to “Brad Pitt’s” character, who just happens to be there again by total “suspicion of disbelief” coincidence. The story is lacking altogether. There is zero emotional attachment to any character. The comedy is just enough to keep you from being truly bored. The effects are as expected for a Sony/Columbia production, but nothing amazing as this film does not need amazing effects. The action scenes are acceptable but, again with no emotional connection to any character, the suspense is void. I would call this film one to avoid.
I will never choose to watch this again. I can say at best it is acceptable as a corny action comedy to waste time with if there is absolutely nothing better to do. 4/10