Noah Esper

Staff Writer

nle5099@psu.edu

Last week, the cryptocurrency community gave a mournful farewell to the beloved Mr. Goxx who passed away last wednesday. Mr. Goxx was a notable investor who was famous for his outstanding financial performance. He even outperformed big name investors like Warren Buffet and the S&P 500. The only thing that made Mr. Goxx different from investors like Warren Buffet was that he was a hamster. This hamster earned the title of the first hamster to become a big name in investments. 

Mr. Goxx’s financial career began as a project started by two anonymous individuals in Germany. Mr. Goxx had his own trading office attached to his cage which was live streamed on Twitch at certain times of the day. The trading office consisted of a hamster wheel and two tunnels. The wheel was hooked up to a trading portfolio and when Mr. Goxx ran on the wheel he was actually selecting different crypto tokens. Once Mr. Goxx had stopped running on the wheel, the specific crypto token was chosen. Then Mr. Goxx would either run into one of two tunnels, one being labeled “buy” and the other one “sell”. The tunnels were also connected to the trading portfolio with crypto tokens being bought or sold depending on which tunnel Mr. Goxx ran through. 

The project began as a joke between the two creators. With the entire world seemingly being in constant financial crisis, the two joked that their hamster could probably make better investments than most humans. In fact, this has actually proven to be somewhat true. 

In the first month, Mr. Goxx did see some losses and as of September, the joke investing firm “Goxx Capitol” had seen its performance rise to 19.41%. Goxx Capitol beat out major stock markets like the Dow Jones and S&P 500.

 Overall, the project was doing very well until recently tragedy struck. The furry investor himself sadly and unexpectedly passed away. The creators made the sad announcement on Twitter, letting all of Mr. Goxx’s fans know that he passed away. Mr. Goxx did not appear to be in bad health and was acting normally until his death. The death came as a shock to the project creators, and when asked about whether the project will be continued with a new pet the creators said it was of no relevance to them right now and gave the following statement: “Thank you and rest in peace, Max, a.k.a. Mr. Goxx. You will be missed, and your memory will live forever on the blockchain.” 

While the passing of Mr. Goxx is a tragedy, his story is still an interesting tale which illustrates the randomness of financial markets. Sometimes it’s important to not take everything too seriously and just have some fun in these troubling times. Mr. Goxx was a much needed breath of levity for many who feel the constant stresses of the modern economy.